My son is almost two years old, and for almost two years we have been fighting with the skin manifestations of allergies and intolerance to different products. My child is constantly in rash, so we rarely walk: I am ashamed that his skin is not as perfect as other children. Some are even suitable, show their fingers on inflammation and ask why he is so “dirty”. I have to protect myself and my son, on the face of other mothers and grandmothers I read: “What are you, mom, again ate sweet?»Son on breastfeeding, I observe a strict diet that does not really help, I go to the doctors, we take the tests endlessly, but all allergens have not yet been calculated. My hands dropped for a long time, I feel at the bottom. I can’t enjoy motherhood: I want the baby as soon as possible to “grew up” this terrible allergy. I feel like a disgusting mother. I understand that my son “reads” my mood, but there is no strength to change the mood, and it kills me. I want someone smart and kind to come and cure my child, I am tired of waking up every morning with the hope “Please, let his rash go today”! I know that even mothers with much more difficult children do not give up and go to the goal, but I can’t so. In search of help and support, I say to loved ones, how hard it is for me, but then it becomes a shame that I can’t cope with myself. I conclude that I am not ready to be a mother. Motherhood does not bother me only when my son does not have external manifestations of allergies: he is a wonderful baby, and we are very good together.
Olga, deep loneliness shows in your story. You say to loved ones how difficult it is for you, but, apparently, you do not get the support for you so much, no one shares these experiences with you. Perhaps the reason is that we all have different ways to deal with stresses. Some prefer to avoid painful questions, others-with feigned optimism to say that everything will be fine, others are annoyed when someone affects an unpleasant topic. As a result, you are left alone with your pain.
You write that you are becoming ashamed. But for what? For the fact that you are in throwing https://rfs.org.uk/news/mastering-winning-strategies-at-goldenbet-casino.html, searching, hopes? For the fact that you dream of a wonderful deliverance? For the fact that your feelings reject? Because you almost stopped believing and did not become an example of courage? This is normal: you are an ordinary person and do not have a “superpowial”. Moreover: you do not know what mothers are actually experiencing more “heavy” children, through which they pass.
“I conclude that I am not ready to be a mother” – but you are already a mother. You strive to cover the child from the world, rarely go for a walk, but your son is growing and needs communication, he needs games with peers. You cannot cure it completely and cannot hide it from prying eyes. He is, and he is like. It would be easier for him and better if you fell in love with his allergies. For some time she is part of himself, his appearance and life, and there is no getting away from this.
To love does not mean agreeing that it will always be so, and do nothing, do not treat your son. To love is to accept it. You are afraid of the words “dirty”, but this is an assessment of another person. The main thing is how you see your child. Love transforms. You need to learn how to see his character, skills, achievements, successes in the knowledge of the world, joy and grief, its uniqueness.
You are not burdened by motherhood itself, but by the fact that it is different, not the same as in most, for those mothers who do not experience constant stress and anxiety. Your baby will be amazing, no matter how he looks if you love his unconditional love. Think: if you have changed places and you had an allergy, your child would love you less?